The Difference a Year Makes

A year ago was the first time I ever wanted to skip Christmas. My 10-year relationship had ended. I was worn out from family holiday drama and being disappointed that it never was what I imagined or longed for, so I opted out. I chose me – and ONLY me.


I spent Christmas Eve reading a book and sipping chardonnay in Delta Sky Club at JFK waiting to board a flight to Iceland.


And I spent Christmas Day like this. Sipping champagne in the 105° water of the Blue Lagoon with a silica mask on my face and icicles forming in my hair. It was magical.


This did not go over well with some people in my family. Neither did me distancing myself when I decided I was no longer willing to deal with conflicts in the ways we always had.


But just 12 months later it’s a new story. For the first time in years, I didn’t dread family drama on Christmas. And I genuinely ENJOYED spending the time together. Even my parents who divorced a few years ago got together and had some fun together. It’s a downright Christmas miracle.



What changed? Me.


I stopped pushing other people to be different (at least I tried).
I raised my standards.
I drew boundaries and told them what I was willing to tolerate…
and what I wasn’t.
I told them what I was FEELING and what I wanted.
And I stopped expecting them to magically give it to me.


It wasn’t always pretty or comfortable. And there’s been a lot beside me that helped things shift. But that decision a year ago to stop playing into the drama and start giving MYSELF what I needed, created ripples.


You don’t have to tolerate what’s not working for you. And raising your standards doesn’t mean you have to cut off the people you love.


But you do need to decide and set an intention for what you DO want. The rest will come, whether you know how to make it happen or not.


So, what do YOU need to do for YOURSELF this year? What do YOU want to be DIFFERENT?


You can tell me for starters :).



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