Passions, Plans & Pivots

For a long time I’ve wanted to create a place for conversations with everyday amazing women who are in the arena, doing the work to create the lives they crave. Well, I finally decided to get off my ass and do it – or at least take the first step to start it. And the lovely and inspiring Kat Humphus was my very first guest, direct from Paris, France ya’ll!

This San Diego native graduated from Le Cordon Bleu, interned at some of the world’s top restaurants, opened 3 of her own, and launched a meal-kit delivery service…all before 30. Not to mention she plays the drums, skydives and surfs!

Even with insane accomplishments already, she’s still trying to figure it out, one day at a time, just like the rest of us. When I heard she was taking off on a several-months-long adventure to get back in the kitchen, learn and travel from New York, to Paris to Copenhagen, I had to know more. I mean…So. Many. Questions.⠀

We talked all about…

  • How she’s indulged lots of passions – and what she would change
  • How she fell in love with cooking and landed a dream job at 22
  • Why she left the restaurant biz 3 years later and what she was craving
  • The moment she decided to shut-down her meal-kit delivery service
  • Standing up for yourself when haters say you’re not enough
  • Why, after an accomplished career, she’s starting over as a student
  • Expectations hangovers…and rollin’ with it when they don’t pan out
  • How the heck she’s traveling through Europe for 5 months – unpaid!

Listen here>>

Food for thought

If you’re inspired by this episode, my hope is that you’ll use it to keep the conversation over dinner or drinks with your girlfriends. Here are a few of my big takeaways to dig in to.

  • How well are you following your hunches? One thing that struck me about Kat’s story is how much has unfolded because she followed her hunches. And how, for a VERY long time, I did not. I used to be one of those people that didn’t think I had any passions. Seriously. I flipping HATED questions like “what gets you excited?” or “if money were no object and you could do anything what would it be?” because I never had an answer and I felt like a serious weirdo that I didn’t. 10 years ago this week I decided enough was enough. I was going to finally figure out my answer. What were some of my favorite activities as a kid? When did I feel really alive? What could I do for hours on end and never get tired or bored? My answers were pretty simple. Cook. Create experiences. Spend hours talking with friends about life. Tell interesting stories. But what do you do with that!? Anything that came to mind seemed ridiculous. So I shelved it all and decided to become a career/life coach. 3 years in I realized coaching wasn’t quite right and once again felt the frustration building. When someone asked me the dreaded question again, I got so frustrated I just blurted out in total frustration “I’d throw parties.” And right then, the idea for Bold Dish hit me like a ton of bricks. And what did I do? Overanalyzed and ignored the obvious (and simple answer) again, for another 5 years. Why? Because I couldn’t see the whole plan. I’ve finally learned that you never see the whole plan first. And even if you think you do, you’re wrong. You can only follow the breadcrumbs and see where they lead.
  • Do you make decisions quickly and go all in? When Kat decided to drop out of college and go to culinary school in Paris, she didn’t think twice. Even when her parents said it was crazy and they weren’t going to pay for it, she didn’t flinch. She found ways to make it work. This year, when she decided to travel through Europe for 5 months and get back into kitchens and learn, she made committed to living super simply and even sell her things (including her car) to make it happen because she trusts the short-term sacrifices are worth it in exchange for experiences she’ll gain to fuel her larger vision. The catch-22? That’s counter-intuitive to how most people think. It’s not what’s comfortable. And there are definitely risks. So, the million dollar question is…What do you want right now? And what short-term sacrifice are you willing to make for it? Which lead me to the next point…
  • Could you rethink responsibility? How many people do you know that have said they would give anything to just drop everything and go travel for 6 months? And how many do you know that actually do it? So many of us make decisions based on what we believe is the responsible choice.  But responsible by who’s standard? To be clear, I’m not advocating anyone simply stop paying their bills or go break the law. It is amazing though, what you find when you start to deconstruct the choices you’re making (or not making) because you’re afraid they are irresponsible. Kat and I chat about the distinction of making decisions based on what’s responsible to your soul, health, and happiness, not the standards of society, friends or family. And let me tell you, this is a HARD shift to make. People that love you want you to be safe. And there are plenty of societal rules that nobody wants you to rock. But are they also keeping you from something you’re craving? What’s the most responsible thing you could do for your SOUL right now?

Until next time…




How to Keep What Matters Most Top of Mind

You know the saying…man plans and God laughs. This is my life. I’m the queen of setting strong intentions and making big plans…that instantly go to hell as soon as they’re put to the test in real life. It’s maddening. When you crave growth, progress and accomplishment, there’s nothing worse than the feeling of life getting in your way.

That frustration is a huge reason I decided a few years ago to give up setting goals and resolutions in favor of choosing a single word as my priority each year. Picking a one word theme allows for a lot more flexibility and is way less crushing when things don’t pan out exactly how you envisioned or on your perfect timetable. Read more…

How to Win 2017…in One Word

Feel like you’re just drifting through life on auto-pilot? For a long time that was me. I’d make decisions in a one-off fashion, jumping from one turning point, crisis or milestone to the next. In fact, 30 years went by before I ever stopped to really consider what kind of life would make me happy. What type of work would really fulfill me? What type of free time do I want and how do I really want to spend it? Financially, what do I need to be comfortable? What types of people do I want around me? Read more…

Why New Years Resolutions Are Pointless

What was your 2016 resolution? Seriously, don’t all answer at once…

If you can’t remember or are embarrassed you didn’t follow through, just stop. Stop it right now. Because resolutions are pointless. Only 8% of us actually reach our New Year’s goals anyway. So why do we set ourselves up, year after year, to proclaim something we inevitably drop less than 30 days in? Read more…

How Martha & Snoop Shook Up the Dinner Party in the Best Way

Most of my life, I’ve felt like a complete enigma. I’ve always had a super eclectic group of friends that don’t seem to go together. My taste in food, music, hobbies and design is all over the board. I like it that way. But when most of us look around we like to categorize people so we understand exactly who they are. Problem is, I never felt like I fit one perfectly and have always been drawn to people and things that didn’t fit one either.

Read more…

12 Dinner Parties Focused on Connecting Not Impressing

I think it’s safe to say, no matter your personal politics and views, this week has been an emotional rollercoaster. Families, friendships and communities have been damaged by intense rhetoric and feelings from every angle. There’s no such thing as meaningful, respectful discourse anymore because we don’t create the space to really talk to each other…or to listen. Read more…